This Scottish website about common rape myths is great. I’m particularly glad that they included a section on marital rape, an issue that often gets brushed under the rug. This is troubling, considering the relative prevalence of such crimes- nearly 25% of women claim to have been raped and/or physically
assaulted by a current or former spouse, cohabiting partner, or date at some time in their lifetime.
Inevitably, websites like these lead some to ask, “what about the men?” Furthermore, many men may object to being depicted as violent sex offenders. It’s not that feminists don’t care about male victims or that we secretly hate all men (I know, shocker). It’s that women, apart from being at a higher risk of sexual violence, are more likely to be affected by the ugly stereotypes of such crimes. The point here is that women are never to blame for what happened to them. I hate that I even have to write this but what may seem obvious to you and me escapes others.
Much of the confusion here arises from the mixed messages about personal responsibility. I’m one of those people strongly opposed to woman taking self defense classes because I don’t think the onus should be on us to protect ourselves. Moreover, many women aren’t attacked by some crazy guy in the bushes but someone they know and trust. And, what if the woman is unconscious? How is she supposed to defend herself? It’s also one thing to learn some fancy fight moves and then become totally paralyzed when you’re attacked. It happens. Still, there are some who think that we should be “empowered” and take defense classes and carry pepper spray and mace. This feeds into the narrative that if we are indeed, attacked, it’s sort of our fault for not being prepared. This gets played out with other issues, like alcohol and clothing. Obviously, I’m not suggesting that some people’s tendencies to excuse rape is ok but perhaps, we need to address some of the contradictory messages sent out by rape activists.
h/t: feministing
-Indira
